I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
North Korea, Best Korea!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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