I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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