Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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