so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
