i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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