I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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