You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
