Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just high enough for therapy.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
