Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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