# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
