Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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