CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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