I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
