matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
smell my finger.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
