chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
