quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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