Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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