Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
