I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
