it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
and i looked up. we had an audience...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
