Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
