How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Blood and glitter go together right?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
