Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
