i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
