That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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