how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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