You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
