i just made my gag reflex go away.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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