Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
