In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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