And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
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My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
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most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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