so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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