Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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