What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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