I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
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