Whod you bang
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Sober January is a disaster.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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