I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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