We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
