oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Come on in and take your pants off
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