Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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