she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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