He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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