I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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