I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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