It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
