either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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