Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
