So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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