Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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