i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
