I got chris browned last night
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
