I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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