I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Mom said you looked used
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
