dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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