Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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