Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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