if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
