I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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