I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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