one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
