i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
