Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
