if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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