Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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