This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
