i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
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