I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
